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Raising a family is one of the biggest jobs anyone can take on, and for many parents, it means making difficult choices about careers, time, and priorities. For almost two decades Nicolle Sloane made every big decision in her children’s lives.
But as children grow up, parents eventually face the challenge of stepping back to lead their own lives again. This moment came to Sloan when she was searching for a hotel for her 18-year-old daughter’s beach trip. She stopped and realized her daughter hadn’t asked for help.
That’s the starting point of the essay she wrote for Business Insider, which combines reflections on parental love, control, and the difficult moment when children no longer need their parents on a day-to-day basis.
Nicolle Sloane gave up a career to stay at home and raise her children
When her daughter was born in 2007, Sloane ended her writing career and became a full-time stay-at-home mom. Two years later, her son was born. “It wasn’t really a decision for me,” she wrote. Sloane’s choice came from the wish “to be the one guiding them.”
Her story is not entirely unusual in the United States. According to the U.S. Bureau of Labor Statistics, in 2025 approximately 26.1% of mothers with children under age 18 are not in the labor force, meaning they don’t work for pay.
From mom to “CEO” of her own family
As her children grew, Sloane took charge of everything. School, teachers, activities, and, later, college planning were some of her responsibilities. “I wasn’t just a mom. I became the CEO of my children’s lives,” she wrote.
The turning point on Nicolle Sloane’s “job” as a mother
When it was time for her daughter to apply to college, Sloane discovered her daughter had found a college counselor on her own. When she asked about applying to Ivy League schools, her daughter answered: “We did not decide. I decided that I want to enjoy my life in college.”
Sloane admited it was hard to hear. But later it became a moment she was proud of and the proof that her daughter didn’t need her as much anymore.
The new chapter on Sloane’s life as her children grow older
Now that both children drive and have more independence, Sloane has taken that awaited step back, and now she is working as a freelance writer again.
“I’m learning that it may finally be time to take charge of my own life and resign as the CEO of theirs,” she wrote.